Friday Fun – Great Insults from History

Too long have we been exposed to the internet, which has reduced our ability to insult our fellow man down to questioning loudly and repeatedly, their s3xuality, or the proclivity of their maternal parent. Back in the good old days, they had some class, as these examples show…

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, “If you were my husband I’d put poison in your coffee,”

and he said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

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A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows, or of some unspeakable disease.”

“That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

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“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr

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“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

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“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” – Winston Churchill

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“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” – Clarence Darrow

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“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas

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“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” – Abraham Lincoln

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“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

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“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde

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“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response.

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“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright

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“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

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“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” – Jack E. Leonard

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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

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“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

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