Why Crossfit is bad for your Marriage

Last week was a relatively normal week: I left home on Monday morning for the working week away, went shopping Monday night for food for the week, went to work Tuesday, went to the gym Tuesday evening… all pretty normal. Until that is, on Wednesday morning I spotted something that was decidedly NOT normal!

My neck normally looks like this:

Colin McNulty neck

But on Wednesday morning whilst shaving, I noticed it instead looking like this:

Colin McNulty neck

Where the hell did that hickey come from?!? I couldn’t believe, what’s more I didn’t think my wife would believe it either! I go away for 5 days on business and come home with a mystery love bite on my neck, this I’m reliably lead to believe, is just not the done thing. This was seriously bad news in it’s own right, but even more so because I had no idea how it had happened.

After some thought and no small amount of panic, I came to the inescapable conclusion, that it was Crossfit’s fault. You see on Tuesday I’d been to the gym. Now I don’t actually follow the Workout of the Day (WOD) from the main Crossfit.com site, instead I do the previous day’s WOD from Crossfit Manchester, my regular gym back home. I do this because it guarantees an hours workout, it helps me to keep in touch with the members of the gym whilst I’m away, and I get an element of competition because I can see what weight / time my peers have done.

As it happens, the workout I should have done at Aspire Fitness (my Cardiff gym, more on them another day, I still owe them a setting the record straight post for erroneously calling them a “globo gym”, my bad) was this:

Deadlift: 5 – 5 – 5

Then 7 Rounds of:
– Run 200m
– 15 Wall Ball
– 10 Pull Ups
– 5 Push Press, 55kg
– Rest 1 min

But I’d done heavy deadlifts the last time I was there, and they don’t quite have the setup for things like wall balls. So instead I did this from the Crossfit Manchester WOD the Thursday before, which was:

Clean and Jerk: Doubles

Then:
– Run 860m
– 3 Rounds of;
— 5 Knees to Elbows
— 10 KB Swing
— 15 Box Jump
– Run 860m

There was my love biting culprit: the clean and jerk doubles. I’d worked up to 85kg and was getting pretty tired. I made a last effort for a 90kg double, I got the first one but it was an effort, I repositioned my grip on the bar, I set myself, I pulled for all I was worth, the bar was faster than the eye:

Colin McNulty Clean

But I was trying too hard, was off balance, my legs were tired, I twisted slightly, over pulled, dropped under and promptly smacked myself in the neck with 90kg (200lbs) of Olympic Weightlifting bar! Not surprisingly, I didn’t make the clean and tried not to gag as I threw the bar away.
Still 85kg was respectable and I moved on to the rest of the workout.

You can see how it’s easily done, the above mid-clean photo was actually taken this weekend at Crossfit Manchester doing power cleans followed by front squats, here’s the bottom of the front squat position, which is where I would have been receiving the flying bar at the bottom of the clean (there’s 85kg on the bar in the pic):

Colin McNulty Front Squat

And so there you have it. Doing Crossfit = doing clean & jerks with heavy weights = getting tired = hitting yourself in the neck = bursting a blood vessel = a dodgy looking bruise which gets you into trouble with the missus when you get home from a week away! Actually to be fair, I didn’t really get into trouble, well at least I don’t think so, yet….

{ 1 comment… add one }
  • carol guenther 26 October 2010, 2:22 am

    I am a graphic designer and crossfitter in Massachusetts. I am designing a flyer for my local Crossfit and was wondering if you’d give me permission to use the photo for our flyer? It’s a great photo and depiction of the front squat.

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