This is one of the funniest Red Dwarf starting scripts ever, where Rimmer regales the others with detailed accounts of his Risk Games. The reference to his Risk Campaign Book, is genius:<\/p>\n
RED DWARF Series IV episode 6, “Meltdown”<\/strong><\/p>\n 1 Int. Sleeping Quarters.<\/p>\n CAT, LISTER and RIMMER are sitting round a table in the sleeping RIMMER<\/strong>: So there we were at 2:30 in the morning; I was beginning to wish CAT is sitting with big pieces of cotton wool plugged in to his ears. As CAT<\/strong>: What? This is one of the funniest Red Dwarf starting scripts ever, where Rimmer regales the others with detailed accounts of his Risk Games. The reference to his Risk Campaign Book, is genius: RED DWARF Series IV episode 6, “Meltdown” 1 Int. Sleeping Quarters. CAT, LISTER and RIMMER are sitting round a table in the sleeping […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":161,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-111","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/161"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=111"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=111"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=111"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=111"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nquarters. CAT and LISTER are playing a card game and RIMMER is regaling
\nthem with tales of his youth. As the scene opens we see that CAT and
\nLISTER seem to be in some kind of pain.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nI had never come to cadet training school. To the south lay water —
\nthere was no way we could cross that. To the east and west two armies
\nsqueezed us in a pincer. The only way was north; I had to go for it
\nand pray the Gods were smiling on me. I picked up the dice and threw
\ntwo sixes. Caldecott couldn’t believe it. My go again; another two
\nsixes!
\nLISTER<\/strong>: Rimmer, what’s wrong with you? Don’t you realize that no one is
\neven slightly interested in anything you’re saying? You’ve got this
\nmajor psychological defect which blinds you to the fact that you’re
\nboring people to death! How come you can’t sense that?
\nRIMMER<\/strong>: Anyway I picked up the dice again… Unbelievable! Another two
\nsixes!
\nLISTER<\/strong>: Rimmer!
\nRIMMER<\/strong>: What?
\nLISTER<\/strong>: No one wants to know some stupid story about how you beat your
\nCadet School Training Officer at Risk.
\nRIMMER<\/strong>: Then — disaster! I threw a two and a three; Caldecott picked up
\nthe dice and threw snake eyes — I was still in it.
\nLISTER<\/strong>: Cat, can you talk to him?.<\/p>\n
\nLISTER talks to him he takes one of the pieces.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nRIMMER<\/strong>: Anyway, to cut a long story short I threw a five and a four which
\nbeat his three and a two, another double six followed by a double four
\nand a double five. After he’d thrown a three and a two I threw a six
\nand a three.
\nCAT<\/strong>: Man, this guy could bore for his country!
\nLISTER<\/strong>: What I want to know, is how the smeg can you remember what dice
\nyou threw at a game you played when you were seventeen?
\nRIMMER<\/strong>: I jotted it down in my Risk campaign book. I always used to do
\nthat so I could replay my moments of glory over a glass of brandy in
\nthe sleeping quarters. I ask you, what better way is there to spend a
\nSaturday night?
\nCAT<\/strong>: Ya got me.
\nRIMMER<\/strong>: So a six and a three and he came back with a three and a two.
\nLISTER<\/strong>: Rimmer, can’t you tell the story is not gripping me? I’m in a
\nstate of non-grippedness, I am completely smegging ungripped. Shut the
\nsmeg up.
\nRIMMER<\/strong>: Don’t you want to hear the Risk story?
\nLISTER<\/strong>: That’s what I’ve been saying for the last fifteen minutes.
\nRIMMER<\/strong>: But I thought that was because I hadn’t got to the really
\ninteresting bit…
\nLISTER<\/strong>: What really interesting bit?
\nRIMMER<\/strong>: Ah well, that was about two hours later, after he’d thrown a
\nthree and a two and I’d thrown a four and a one. I picked up the
\ndice…
\nLISTER<\/strong>: Hang on Rimmer, hang on… the really interesting bit is exactly
\nthe same as the dull bit.
\nRIMMER<\/strong>: You don’t know what I did with the dice though, do you? For all
\nyou know, I could have jammed them up his nostrils, head butted him on
\nthe nose and they could have blasted out of his ears. That would’ve
\nbeen quite interesting.
\nLISTER<\/strong>: OK, Rimmer. What did you do with the dice?.
\nRIMMER<\/strong>: I threw a five and a two.
\nLISTER<\/strong>: And that’s the really interesting bit?
\nRIMMER<\/strong>: Well it was interesting to me, it got me into Irkutsk.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"