{"id":2926,"date":"2012-12-17T21:50:19","date_gmt":"2012-12-17T21:50:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/?p=2926"},"modified":"2013-03-28T08:34:44","modified_gmt":"2013-03-28T08:34:44","slug":"a-christmas-crossfit-poem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/2012\/12\/17\/a-christmas-crossfit-poem\/","title":{"rendered":"A Christmas CrossFit Poem"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was sent the following poem by a new FaceBook “friend” Jhaei Martin from the States. We originally got chatting about Obsessive CrossFit Disorder<\/a>! She’s obviously got a hidden literary talent and has kindly allowed me to reproduce her poem here for all our enjoyment:<\/p>\n

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the box
\nCrossfitters were sweating in compression socks
\nThe jumpropes were hung by the red bars with care,
\nIn hopes that their coach soon would be there;
\nThe newbies were hoping their muscles will shred
\nWhile the lists of WODs danced in Marisa\u2019s head
\nAnd warm up on the white board should be done in a snap
\nbut add-ons were listed so no time for a nap-
\nThen out on the lot there arose such a clatter,
\nJosue sprang from his corner to see what\u2019s the matter.
\nAway to the window he flew like a flash,
\nTore open the shutters, and threw up the sash.
\nThe sun through the glass now all aglow
\nGave the blinding reflection to bars below;
\nWhen, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
\nBut a miniature sleigh, full of Reebok gear
\nWith a little squat and a few kips and kicks
\nHe knew in a moment it can\u2019t be just one chick
\nThe girls of Crossfit, slowly they came,
\nAnd they whistled, and shouted, identified by name:
\n“Now! Annie, now! Angie, now! Linda, and Lynne,
\n“On! Mary, on! Nancy, on! Nicole and Karen;
\n“To the top of the plyo! to the top of the wall!
\n“Now sprint away! sprint away! sprint away all!”<\/p>\n

They were dressed in short shorts, sport bras..such a hoot
\nAnd their clothes were covered with chalk, not soot
\nA medicine ball was flung on each back,
\nAnd they looked like a model just showing her rack:
\nTheir eyes – how they twinkled! their muscles, how shiny
\nTheir back cheeks were like mounds, their waists oh so tiny
\nTheir thighs stretched and folded in a squat tempo,
\nknees kept in great angles, and asses down low
\nBlisters on tail bones from sit ups were treats
\nand everyone got up in Turkish beats
\nThey touched the bar with toes to flatten the belly
\nnot thinking at all of a zone with jelly:
\nNo one\u2019s chubby and plump, after AMRAP was done
\nTABATAS were nothing as they all feel they\u2019ve won
\nHigh swings of the bell and twists of the head
\nSoon clear to everyone they had nothing to dread.
\nNo one spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
\nto complete the snatch, the clean and a jerk,
\nAnd laying the ego as weaknesses exposed
\nconfidence went down but in seconds rose
\nThey jumped double unders, and hearts beat in sizzle
\nAnd away they all flew, like the down of a thistle:
\nThey moaned and exclaimed, feeling better and light
\nHappy burpees to all, and to all a good fight.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I asked her to write a bit about herself too, by way of Author Profile if you will:<\/p>\n

I typically write psychological thrillers and erotic poetry. I have always been physically active but CrossFit is the only one that made me say, “I am obsessed.” I workout at home now using equipments my husband built since I live in a very small mountain town and the nearest box is not the best choice I have. When I am not working out, I could be found teaching third graders and volunteering at a children’s hospital. I keep myself busy as it is a way to manage my obsessive compulsive disorders. I sew, make jewelry, scrapbook, and create paper art.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It’s nice that CrossFit can make connections with people worldwide, despite the fact that I’ll probably never meet many of the people I meet, or speak to in real life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was sent the following poem by a new FaceBook “friend” Jhaei Martin from the States. We originally got chatting about Obsessive CrossFit Disorder! She’s obviously got a hidden literary talent and has kindly allowed me to reproduce her poem here for all our enjoyment: ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the box […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":161,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,1],"tags":[230,315,314],"class_list":{"0":"post-2926","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-crossfit","7":"category-uncategorized","8":"tag-crossfit-workout-exercises","9":"tag-ocd","10":"tag-poems"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2926","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/161"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2926"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2926\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2926"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2926"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinmcnulty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2926"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}